Spring Fling

(Playing at the hospital learning center)

I realize it has been almost a year since my last post, and let's just say I've been under quite the transformation. I realize that it is very important to document my encounters and experiences because I quickly forget about them, and when one needs to reflect on their journey...it's easy to just go back and read them!

A couple reasons since it's been so long since my last post is maintaining my own health issues. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I suffer from chronic shoulder/neck pain along with migraines. I am looking into seeing a chiropractor and perhaps a massage therapist. I've had to drastically cut my hours because of not knowing if I can play being in chronic pain. 

I've also been under some intense spiritual transformation as well. We've hit a couple of milestones (12.12.12 and 12.21.12) and now we are looking at the equinox coming up. I am sensing that many of my migraines are due to energy blockages that I have in the back of my neck/shoulders. I do meditations to help move the energy down and ground it into the Earth. It also feels like I'm taking an intensive course on self-love...which is absolutely necessary before I place myself in more harp therapy sessions and give-give-give myself away through music. In fact, it shouldn't be like that anyway, I am learning to work with intention and properly shielding myself before moving farther in this line of work.

I've also reached and finished my volunteer/internship goals for school. I am securing permanent paid harp therapy positions and performing gigs. I'm also looking into getting my own gig harp that fits in my Honda Civic. The above harp is a Blevins harp that belongs to the hospital. I have found it fits me very well. I may sell my small therapy harp, we'll see. 

School news: I hope to finish in June, but putting a deadline on anything right now is practically...laughable. I just do what I can and work with the energetic highs and low's. I have my recordings to finish (need around 30 or more), presentations, creating my portfolio, and then submitting everything. 

Harp therapy experiences: I had the opportunity to play for a lady who was at EOL (end of life) at her home at the request of her daughter. I was surprised by how comfortable I felt, how honoring it was to be there for someone's transition into the next life. I would like to do more of these in the future...

Another experience - was actually something an older gentleman said to me...he jokingly asked me if "I was in tune?" and I don't think he realized how important that question is. I explained to him later, that it was important that I am "in tune" myself before doing this work.

Playing for someone who is in active pain - I was placed in a large, crowded, waiting room right in front of a 40-something woman and her husband. She was in a wheel chair, and was writhing in pain. It seemed so inappropriate for me to play while she was experiencing this pain. She soon asked her husband to wheel her up and down the hallway because my placement in front of her and the music was probably annoying and too painful for her to absorb. I learned from this experience that sometimes music is not best. It just isn't appropriate at certain times. And that's ok.

Coming up: I have secured a couple paid ongoing harp therapy "gigs" at the hospital. I have a hotel gig coming up for a nursing conference. I hope to have more events lined up as Spring blossoms. Hope to have school completed and a degree and certification in my hand by this Summer. I hope to be pain-free or managing my health so that I can dedicate myself to my "work" even more. I also aspire to post more spiritual posts in the future and "speak my truth" as I have mentioned in the past. It feels like it may be time to do this now...

NICU and Yoga

What do those two things have in common? Just that they are the two newest places that I am playing in the hospital(s) now!

(Picture from The Junior League of Waco, Inc.)

I chose this picture because it closely resembled the environment and experience I had for my first couple of times playing in the NICU. Just to be clear, I have NEVER played at a hospital in Texas (yet).

What BABIES like: I have come to the opinion that babies like consistent music. If I make drastic changes in the key, tempo, and even volume...the babies would cry or their monitors would go off. If I would STOP abruptly, their monitors would go off. So the trick is to gently fade (with rolling arpeggios) so that I could leave them in blissful peace. That is until I'm strapping up the harp and hit a huge garbage can or something. 

The individual in the photo almost looks like the volunteer who asked me to stop by before leaving one day. She was holding and feeding a baby. She stated, "It wasn't until you started playing that I could finally get this baby to eat something" and I leveled-up in harp therapy that day. 

YOGA: playing for yoga at the Vet hospital has been fun and is different than playing therapeutically, because I feel I am playing for a sort of dance. I actually did play for ONE FULL HOUR of yoga (and that was a big mistake because my stamina was not ready for that after already playing for 2 hours prior). Tips: Play consistently during movements. Use techniques like going from lower register to higher register for positions that unfold or involve stretching. My favorite, of course, was playing for the relax segment at the end (it's also my favorite in Yoga besides the Child's Pose). I just plucked one note here or there creating a simple melody, if that. I felt it coincided perfectly.

And it always helps to get compliments from the teacher and students. I must admit, I have been taking the last 15 minutes of class, kicking off my shoes and joining them for some much needed stretching after doing harp therapy for the day. It takes away all sorts of uncomforts. I love it!

Time for some fun!

Here some funny harp pictures/videos that I've come across in the past week or so! Enjoy!

 

Live Music for Vets Soothes PTSD

Article from LA TIMES: "Live Music at Fresno's VA Hospital Makes a Big Difference"

A local harpist just sent this article to me and it talks about how VA patient's in waiting rooms enjoy the live music and makes them less stressed and at ease when going in for their appointments.

Today was my first day playing for the Mental Health floor at the VA hospital and it was received so wonderfully by the patient's coming and going to their appointments and by the staff. People came out of their offices to hear the music and thanked me so much for providing this wonderful service.

One patient was finished with his appointment for the day and took some time to stand by me and chat a while. Right away, I felt an interesting connection with this guy. He was upset and fed-up with his "treatment" and I sympathized. He said, "I need more of this (pointing to my music) and less of that (meaning his therapy sessions)" I laughed and said I knew what he meant. He talked about how he started to feel like one of the masses, and that he is doing his own research with his condition and that some doctor's are not responsive to patient's who take this into their own hands. We discussed how music therapy needs to be brought back into traditional forms of treatment, and less pill-pushing.

Even though I provide a peaceful service, I tend to notice that I light a fire under people sometimes. I tend to get them to think of change, and repressed emotions surface. I have to laugh at the amount of times that I just randomly run into someone, have a discussion, and then something bubbling under the surface appears. People have gotten angry, have cried, have realized not-so-pretty things about themselves, or realizing that they need to change something in their lives. I'm a mover and a shaker!

Anyway, back to this guy, his therapist walked by and then he spent the next 10 minutes ranting about what we were previously talking about and I think it was necessary for him to get it off his chest (though I do think his therapist was like "where is this coming from?")

Not 5 minutes later, and another guy does the same to his therapist! So I hope I was providing peaceful treatment...or at least acknowledgement from these patient's that they're fed-up with certain methods of treatment that are run into the ground, or are sick of feeling like another one in the herd.

I sympathize with this because I have also had years of mental health treatment and I understand the frustration. Some therapists were gold, most were just "doing their job" and I never really felt understood individually and they were eager to get me on some sort of meds and out the door. After getting to know myself for quite a while and my patterns, I also did my own research and self-help into specific matters.

The director of my school program (Christina Tourin) has a new series of playing harp in group settings. Like a harp therapy group. I think this type of thing would do wonders for these patients.

A New Place

This last Tuesday, I started at a VA hospital and am enjoying it so far. It's nice to be able to serve those that served our country. The hospital does a lot of PTSD research and I hope to be able to help with the healing in that area...having suffered from PTSD in my early 20's. This is my set up with the harp, dolly, and little stool. Do you like it? I managed to be able to attach the stool to the dolly, grab my big red bag, and travel down the hallways to wherever I go.

Vets sure are talkative. I hope to be able to add some music into my repertoire that they enjoy. I know I'll probably receive requests. Many of the Vets thought I went to school at Julliard and I had to laugh. It's hard to explain about my school to them, since it is a combination of online study material, videos, monthly conference call, DVD study, recordings, papers, quizzes, and last but not least 80 hours of internship in hospital/hospice settings! To learn more about my school program, please visit IHTP.

I am happy to report that I finally had my first experience playing in a patient's room. I started playing and an old lady came out of her bed, into the hallway and started to dance! Then a male nurse hugged her and took her in dance position, and there they were, dancing in front of me in the hallway! It was very cute. Then, the old lady asked me to come into her room and play for her roommate who seemed down. So I didn't hesitate, but made sure the space was secure and asked permission. Lunch was being served, so that was an issue, but we worked it out. However, the old lady just talked and talked while I played and it was difficult to play continuously for the other patient. The old lady told me how she loved to tango and how everyone is so grumpy nowadays.

It was also good practice to play when an alarm went off, I made sure to harmonize with it. Then I moved to another hospital location, where patient's sit patiently in their breezy gowns until their procedures start. Some of the men are rather embarrassed in their attire, but I don't care! I saw a familiar face and he was happy to see me. While I was playing for him, I took a brief pause, and he said, "I just saw an angel fly across the ceiling". He said this very seriously! He also didn't seem the type to be spouting off about angels either. So I thought that was pretty cool.

I got my lucky parking spot in the hospital garage today, so I knew it was going to be a good day!

Personally, I've been getting migraines almost daily due to my decreasing vision and the contrasting differences between the left and right eye. I was able to wear my husband's glasses the other night and actually see better. I had LASIK/PRK done in 2007, and I already have vision changes and will have to wear glasses again. My eyes were so dry from wearing hard contacts for years, that they had to insert permanent tear duct plugs, so that my eyes would remain moist. I'm hesitant to return to contact lenses (and am not even sure I can). Though in some weird way, I loved to wear my last pair of glasses (Gucci!) and think they give sort of a hot intellectual look. ;)

I also saw the doctor today and I have some great news. I have slowly been reducing my dosage of anti-depressants since last October with my doctor's approval and now I can spread it out even further until I finish the bottle and hopefully do not have to be on those ever again! I always thought I had to be on those for life, but since a sort of mind-loop has been lifted, my thoughts have cleared, my mood improved, and my down days only feel "blue". I have been on meds for a good part of my 20's...so over a decade now, and I will finally be pill free. However, the side effect is weight gain when you get OFF the medication and many have gained at least 25-30 lbs. I have definitely gone up a jean size or two, and I don't think it was just the holidays! We have a nice new recumbent bike now. It makes my butt numb while riding it, but hey, at least it's exercise!

The Best Compliments

(Picture taken of me on 9/11/11 in a nearby memorial park. Playing my Christina Therapy Harp)

It was nice to return to what I love to do at the hospital today. So many people, so grateful, sooooo many demands for CD's!!!

I was thinking about selling them by donation only near where I'm playing so that I don't have stop and make change when playing. Besides, this might be more appropriate than "selling" them as a volunteer at the hospital (not sure if that's even allowed). I also like giving the option for people to think outside the "How Much?" option and instead, get them thinking about how much they would like to GIVE. Even if all they have to give is some crochet lessons. Sorry, couldn't help it.

I wanted to write a couple of compliments I've received, mostly for my own sake. Today, specifically, an older gentlemen let me know in a loud voice that he was "TONE DEAF BUT I STILL ENJOYED IT!" and another who enjoyed my music even though he only had one ear. He knew the harp I was playing (Blevins Irish Folk Harp).

Also, last month, a man in his 50's asked me, "What was that song you were playing?" and I proceeded to tell him it was one of my own ("Snowflake Wonderland" featured on the Christmas CD) and he said, "Oh, I thought that was Debussy!" and that was a huge compliment because Debussy is one of my favorite composers and that specific piece was meant to improvise nature and the weather we were currently having.

The best compliment, by far, has got to be someone dozing off to my music. No kidding!

In other news, I've been working hard for school. We just had a quiz due, and now a paper is due for February. In this month's lesson, there were some questions asked that we have to cover in the paper, and I wanted to try and write my thoughts about them here.

Who am I?

I'm a healer. I remember higher ways of healing (mostly through meditations and dreams) like being healed through sound in a chair made out of crystal, or through color (through chakras), and the most beautiful way - floating as a soul in a wave of pink/orange accompanied by sound. I have a desktop fractal picture that I love that reminds me of this (sorry I don't know the artist).

What do I love?

To laugh. I love to create music that gives us goose bumps. I love to create art that helps us to dream.  I love feeling at peace, watching animals be adorable and funny. I love comfy clothes and my electric blanket. I love those that have been my true family. And of course...I love my harps! And my accordion (though it needs repair).

How shall I live, knowing that I will die?

This question is asked because this month's lesson is focused on hospice care. There is a great phrase in Gaelic "Bos Sona" which means "May you have a happy death". There is no word for this in American culture. We learn to fear death. This phrase has meaning to it, that if you anticipate a happy death, you live a happy life. Indeed that is true. It wasn't until I actually started questioning death that led to my spiritual awakening. I learned much from this site: www.nderf.org (Near Death Experiences). I felt that I was learning (remembering) what I already knew in the first place. You'll find many common NDE elements that help awaken your mind to life after death. I read more than 1,000 experiences on this site.

One time, I decided to ask a question and then have it be answered by randomly flipping through books near me. My question was about my death, and my random book answer was given to me as "a happy celebration". How profound.

What are my gifts to the family of the Earth?

My gifts of music and love will be needed more than ever this year and years to come. Each time I visit the hospital, I see how people are starved for this beautiful therapy in their lives. I wish modern medicine would incorporate what we learned in the middle ages - providing care of the SOUL and WHOLE individual, not just a diagnosis, prescription or a band-aid. I am here to bring music and vibration back into current healing methods.

My other gift is one brought through much suffering. Going through that valley of death, hell and back, etc. I've been there, I'm not even sure how I am still here at times, and I hold the gift of personal transformation into that of love and acceptance. Though, don't ask me on a bad day, because that will be hard to believe...or will it?

New Year Checking In!

 (Gilbert Williams "Moon Song")

Just checking in for the New Year, yes I'm still alive and finally practicing after the holidays. I finished my Christmas harp CD and gave some away to family and friends. They really enjoyed it. My next goal is to complete a CD filled with most of the songs I play in the hospital for harp therapy. I currently use soundcloud.com so that some of my music is available for friends, family, and the public to download for free. Here is the link http://soundcloud.com/harpstringsandwings

In other news that isn't official yet, I may be starting at another hospital that holds more future opportunities for me. I still want to keep at my current hospital because I will have the opportunity for playing for new mommies and their babies! Something I've always wanted to do and try.

In the meantime, I've put together an exercise bike, I need to take down the tree and lights. 

Hope everyone is starting off their New Year with some music and peace.

Toledo Zoo Lights